My friend and I were having our weekly conversation. You know, girl talk, exchanging delicious tea. Slowly but surely, we got on the controversial topic of marriage, and she hit me with, “Wow, y’all have been rocking for ten years, and there isn’t a ring?”
“I mean, a ring is beautiful, but does that define me and make me a wife?” I asked.
My friend is not much of the lock-you-down type, so our convo about the topic was brief.
On my way home, her words were burning a hole through my head. Her simple remark, “there isn’t a ring” left my mind wandering. Was there an unspoken rule that I needed to be married just because we’ve spent so many years with one another, or was I out here looking like a fool for letting love be enough? My heart and mind had some things to work out. I was stuck. All this time, I was confident about the way I felt, and now, I wasn’t sure. I took the long way home so I could get my thoughts together because my energy wasn’t where I needed it to be.
When I got home, I put the baby to sleep, which meant I finally had some alone time with my honey, and although the house was quiet, my mind was shouting. My friend’s minuscule comment set off a chain reaction of overwhelming emotions within me. With Jhene Aiko’s “Triggered” playing in the background, I felt like setting it off.
Her question made me rethink my relationship. It made me question if the love of my life was, indeed, my knight in shining armor or a knock-off.
I had never really cared for the idea of marriage. Growing up in a “New Yorican” household, my parents were married in my eyes and didn’t need a piece of paper to justify their love. Sunday mornings, the house was filled with Hector Lavoe while my parents danced around, and my sister and I watched how they gazed into each other’s eyes as if no one else was there. Two hearts connected as one, they were bound by love. However, I couldn’t help but wonder, was common law not good enough?
Then again, I wondered if I wasn’t good enough to get that wifey title. I wondered if I was going to spend another decade dedicated to a man who sees me as a girlfriend. I had allowed myself to be consumed by these questions, forcing myself to believe that the world as we know it only accepts and respects a couple that goes the traditional route.
I had lost sight of the most important thing, and that was knowing that times are changing, and unwed yet committed couples are evolving today’s society. I had to remind myself that I’ve spent years with a man who’s pushed me to always want more for myself and picks me up when I don’t have the strength to get up on my own. I have a man who loves me for me, good and bad. He is the type of partner that keeps it real at all times, and that, right there, is worth more to me than any ring. People in a relationship want respect, love, integrity, and passion, among other things, and I’ve got all four plus more. What more can I genuinely ask for in a partner?
Listen, Young Queen, we may not be following the traditions of the past, but who’s to say we’re wrong? My partner and I may not be married, but we are committed in a way that feels good for my soul and his, too.
I’ve come to realize that my issue is with public opinion, not my relationship, and that’s my battle to overcome.
This Post Has 31 Comments
Janet
16 Jun 2020Beautifully written
You hit on all points
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19 Sep 2020Yesssss!!! Once you stop subscribing to the ideology of “social norms” you will find true and inner peace. You and your man could be in total bliss for 10 years…meanwhile we have people who have been married for 10 years and have never been happy. Then to add insult to injury have to pay a ton of money to get out of that marriage.
Live your life on your own terms. It’s no one’s business honestly and if you want a ring. Get a ring but you don’t have to anything to make others feel comfortable with your situation as long as you are!
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2 Sep 2026How To get back Stolen Cryptocurrency Money from a scammer – by Alpha Recovery Experts
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From my first interaction with them, I felt supported and understood. The team was professional and walked me through the entire process, which eased my anxiety. Although recovering lost funds can be challenging, they provided regular updates and kept me in the loop. I’m grateful for their assistance, and I would recommend them to anyone facing a similar situation.
More Info;
Email; Alpharecoveryexpert@consultant.com
WhatsApp; +44)7457424681
Elizabetg Joshua
7 Sep 2026## A Remarkable Recovery
I’m Elizabeth Joshua from Mississippi, and my journey to recovering my stolen USDT coins was nothing short of miraculous. It began with a devastating loss of $267,400 to a cunning scammer. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming, and I thought my money was gone forever. However, my luck changed when I stumbled upon Brunoe Quick Hack’s services online. Their reputation for being reliable and efficient in recovering stolen cryptocurrency caught my attention. I decided to take a chance and reached out to them.
To my surprise, Brunoe Quick Hack’s team was professional, responsive, and transparent throughout the entire process. They worked tirelessly to track down the scammer and recover my stolen USDT coins. Their expertise and dedication were truly impressive.
In a remarkable turn of events, Brunoe Quick Hack successfully recovered my stolen funds. I was overjoyed and relieved to see the money safely returned to my account. WhatsApp: +1705-784-(2635)
My experience with Brunoe Quick Hack has been nothing short of exceptional. Their service is top-notch, and I highly recommend them to anyone who has fallen victim to cryptocurrency scams. If you’re looking for a reliable and efficient solution to recover your stolen funds, look no further than Brunoe Quick Hack.
## A Testimonial to Excellence
I’m thrilled to refer Brunoe Quick Hack’s services to the globe. Their professionalism, expertise, and commitment to customer satisfaction are truly remarkable. If you need help recovering stolen cryptocurrency, don’t hesitate to reach out to BrunoeQuickHack(@)Gmail.com They are the real deal.