Queens, when we “do the work” on ourselves, heal from toxic relationships of the past, and focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves, our taste in men also evolves. We get closer to finding “our person.” You know, the person you vibe with without trying. The person who makes all your independent, know-it-all, cocky ish goes out the window.
Well, I finally came across “my person.”
He walked into the room, mask on, but I could still see the smile in his eyes. Without realizing it, I was smiling, too. This six-foot, muscles-poppin-out-the-shirt, bearded, fine-without-trying man had come into my life when neither of us was ready (in our 20s), but here we were, years later…
I had known him for over ten years but never really took him seriously. He was handsome and smart, but we didn’t seem to mesh at the right time. We maintained a loose friendship and would check in with each other here and there. During the pandemic, we checked in more frequently than before. He was always respectful with a hint of humor (God knows I love a funny man).
A few months ago we decided to meet at a lounge for a casual catch-up session and drinks. During our catch-up session, we talked for over two hours, and there wasn’t a single dull moment.
In that short time, we hit on the hard subjects of dating: finances, sex, expectations, plans for a family, and past relationships. I could not believe I had known this man for years, and in less than two hours, I learned more about him than I did in the entire time I had known him.
To hear him talk about how he handled money-saving strategies, daily motivation, and future plans had me all giddy. I had to check myself a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t smiling with my mouth wide open. I did not want to leave him. I wanted to climb in his lap, listen to him talk, sniff his cologne a little bit, and fall asleep. He was confident like me and scaled the fence of cocky. His entire aura was sexy, and you couldn’t pay me to believe anything different.
But it wasn’t just him though. I had grown to know who I was and what I wanted, and I did the work to be a better person. I was happy, peaceful, and confident. I was now attracting the dude I deserved because my vibe had totally changed. My gates were open to receive all the positive energy I was putting out, to meet “my person.”
I can’t predict if this will be my lifelong partner. I can, however, say this – In the time I spent with him, I realized two things:
1. I was healed from my past relationships. When he walked in the room, I unintentionally cleaned the slate for him. Not one memory of my past came with me to this two-hour conversation he and I shared.
2. The same energy I put out into the atmosphere will surely show up in front of my face. I claim it, and I claimed it.
To all my single Queens, hang in there and check your energy while you’re waiting. Your person is out there, and if you focus on being the best version of you, your person will mess around, show up, and match your same energy, so be ready!