5 Steps to Flirting on Social Media

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It goes down in the DMs.

I swear, not even Yo Gotti imagined we would turn his hit song into an actual, regularly used quotable. The truth is, it’s hard to ignore phrases that actually capture exactly what’s happening in society. (Ok, that was bold, I’ll rephrase that, what’s happening in Instagram society.) Anyhow, while Yo Gotti is right, and it does go down in the DM, online flirting doesn’t usually start in the DMs. So, to capture this truth, I present to you: Five Steps to Flirting on Social Media.

Let me start by saying — I speak iPhone. I speak iPhone, DM, and double-tap language. All of that. I’m a long-standing citizen of Instagram and one of the original pilgrims who discovered Facebook. What I don’t speak is dating apps. I don’t know anything about the behavior on those. So, let’s leave that whole beast out. That considered, I think I’m fully certified to speak on this matter. Let me briefly explain each step to you.

Step 1: Contact Initiated

Tell me — do you know the feeling when you’re casually scrolling through your likes and you see a guy that liked a couple of photos, usually somewhere between three and six pictures? Sometimes more? This is him making you aware he exists, screaming “click my page and look at me!” Think of it as new aged mating call.

This stage has a bit more strategy than most are willing to admit. If you take the time to look at what photos he actually likes, you can probably identify the attack. He’ll likely double tap the photo where you look the hottest, maybe a candid, but always one photo from further down your feed to let you know he dug around a bit. I would be hard-pressed to believe it’s not a tad intentional. Don’t get caught in this stage. His “like strategy” is important, but not more important than the next step.

Step 2. Suspect Research

The time you spend looking to see how he came across your page is actually where you discover the most about him. Your first stop? Mutual friends, figure out who you know in common.

I have a few male friends who are notorious for dropping men off in my like-feed and inbox. If any one of these friends comments or likes my photos, in about a week Instagram somehow drops my page right in the explorer feeds of their male friends who are single & looking. I’m thankful for their friendship and the automatic co-sign is equal to an automatic plus for the prospect.

From here, once you decide he is someone you want to engage with, you can like his photos and add a couple double taps of your own. But do not follow him, not yet… not unless you’re really into this guy based on the information you’ve collected thus far. Wait for the next step.

Sidenote: Have you ever stumbled on a guy’s page in the research step, thought he was cute, got intrigued, and then clicked around until you found out he was gay? All of a sudden you notice it’s only your gay male friends who follow him and like his photos? Next thing you know you’re just clicking out of the profile, acting like it never happen? Oh. Me either

Step 3. Public Admiration

Now that he’s aware you’ve bitten back, and if he’s actually interested, he usually advances to the next step — commenting on a photo. At this stage, the potential for heightened engagement awaits. He waits for you to post a new photo and that way you are sure to see his comment.

Ladies, a comment on a quote post or the #TBT is the easiest entry point for them. It allows them to jump out the window to talk to you, but this doesn’t leave them open to appear thirsty under a body or face shot.




Step 4. The Follow

If the two of you are able to exchange some quick banter, or something piques your interest, this is the safest place to hit the follow-back button. Now now, I have plenty of friends that will argue to never hit that follow button, but those same friends are single AF or married. If you’re out here dating, sis, click the follow button! You’re free to get to know anyone you want.

Step 5. Enter the DM

Once you follow him, replying to an Instastory is typically his first entry into your DM. Take note, this tactic works both ways. I won’t lie — an Instastory reply is usually the safest entry point for me as well. So if you’re single and your settings do not allow DM replies, go fix that.

Once you’re in the DMs, it’s free territory. The Wild Wild West is open for a new, exciting conversation where the best outcome gets you out of the DMs and right into the phone log. 🙂

What are you online mating calls like? Share your funny, embarrassing, or annoying stories in the comments!

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This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. Good read! Once I liked a bunch of this girls quotes, she thought I was interested, she came into my DM, and when I said I was interested, you cool feel her disappointment through her words, I felt bad

    Note, guys will like selfies as stated in article above

    1. You see!!! lol I’m so thankful for your cosign. Men are more careful about what they like than we think! I’ll make sure to spread the word.. lol

  2. Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering
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