I just had the best 48 hours in Aruba, ever.
How? Why? Huh? Well, my sister sent out the bat call. Ladies, we know what the bat call is, don’t we?! It’s the moment when your friend, sister, cousin, etc texts or calls to tell you her relationship is over. What transpires after this call is seemingly instant — no matter what you’re doing, you drop everything to be there for your beloved queen. Our best friends’ breakups are not to be taken lightly. This is their time of need, their time of anger, sadness, and confusion. So, I definitely wasn’t about to ask questions (not until I saw her in Aruba, at least.) I hopped on a plane and got there as fast as I could.
My older sister has been dating this guy for about ten months or so. To her, this was the “good guy.” This guy was outside of her normal “type,” and as her sister, I can say she has equally bad taste as myself, so her efforts don’t go unnoticed. This guy had been hot on her tail for years. He had seen her go through a couple of failed relationships and would always play the sidelines. In his words, he was “waiting on her to figure all her shit out.”
Last year, in an attempt to expand her dating territory, she gave him a chance.
As a man, he was way outside of her type, but to her surprise, there was an instant click. Very quickly, they went from strangers (one of which had a distant crush) to spending five nights a week together. There was a level of comfort she felt with this man that she hadn’t felt in a while. She didn’t feel like she was constantly aiming to impress him. She enjoyed his attention to detail and level of consideration in even the most minor situations. In turn, she discovered a bunch of things about relationships she didn’t even know she was looking for. He opened her eyes to how great a relationship can be when your partner is available and aware.
The two planned a quick romantic getaway to Aruba for this past weekend, and she was excited to take their first trip out of the country together. However, her excitement was short-lived. In the middle of the week, a woman called her phone wanting to have a woman-to-woman convo.
Ladies, I hate the woman-to-woman approach and, honestly, I’m adding this topic to the docket because it deserves its own blog entry. Nevertheless, this approach never works out how either woman expects. Ladies, trust me, take it up with the man and leave the other women out of your relationship problems.
Anyway, I digress. Out of this woman-to-woman convo, my sister discovered that “Mr. Nice Guy” actually had a nine-month-old baby boy. I’m not the best at math, but I’m pretty sure that if they were together for ten months, and the baby is nine months, then there are some problems here, right? One, he hid the fact he had someone pregnant when he met her, and two, he hid an entire child for nine months after the birth. That’s sick.
Naturally, my sister ended things, yet remained in sheer disbelief about what just went down. Enduring a breakup is one thing, but to experience an unexpected, totally unpleasant shock is another. I was proud of my sister for refusing to entertain his excuses. He convincingly hid a child, so who’s to say he’s capable of being honest about anything else?
By the next day, our sister-group chat was in full force, and the moment my sister mentioned Aruba, my little sister and I booked flights. The fact of the matter is when your sister or friend sends the distressed call for help… you show up. As women, we know just how badly these situations sting, so it’s up to us to make the most of our time together. During our trip, we laughed, gossiped, and made sister memories where their relationship memories were supposed to exist.
There may have been a time in your 20s that you would cancel the trip, sit home, cry to your girlfriends, and eat your feelings with an obscene amount of carbs, but Young Queens, let me tell you. In your 30s, you call your girlfriends, and you take that trip. Someone cue up the “Sex In The City” movie. If you need to turn a honeymoon or baecation into a girls’ trip, do it. Although I loved Aruba, and I’d take the flight again if she needed me, I’d rather she never endure this pain again to where she needs to send out “the call.”