A friend of mine was dating a new guy recently.  The way she had described him, he sounded great. He was young, attractive, successful, no kids, never been married, loved his family, but most importantly…. TOTALLY into her.  They were working on a project together so they connected, especially in that area.  However, there was a part of him that felt “off.” She didn’t know how to describe it, she said nothing was wrong with him, it’s just something about him. “He’s not all there.” she said.  But she felt he was good for her, The Nice Guy, The “What Can I do To Help” guy. He’s supportive, he’s attentive, he’s caring and he’s definitely attractive.

They had been seeing each other for a few months when he invited her out to see Dave Chappelle at Radio City in New York City. When she shared the news of her invite, she seemed hesitate and I couldn’t understand why. We went back and forth about the idea for a bit and she decided she wanted to sleep on it.

A few days later she called me with the details. He was to plan one night, a broadway show. She was to plan a daytime event, shopping & the museum. And then they would see Dave Chappelle the second night. I was excited for her.  She was on her way to NYC and hopefully moving forward with a great guy. Thank God for good friends like me who can talk some sense into ya.

The first call came the night before the flight. He sent over her flight information and they were sitting in 27A & 27B. Now listen, there’s nothing wrong with flying economy if that’s what you’re used to and that’s within your budget. But when she has Delta status and flies herself first class and when he drives a Bentley and owns 3 businesses, why are they in economy? Not even economy plus? And yes, she did check, there were first class available.

I talked her back off the ledge. It’s not a big deal. It’s a short flight. Save your miles, don’t upgrade. Girl, relax. It’s not that serious. I pulled out every possible excuse, but inside I was with her. Why were they in 27A & B?

Once on the flight she turned to him and asked for the hotel information. He gave it to her and it was one she had never heard of before. She’s no hotel snob but she certainly has a higher standard than most. She quickly shot me a text with the name. I gagged. She would never survive. It was already bad enough she was sitting in economy with her Delta Platinum status but now she was going to be staying at a substandard NYC hotel equivalent to 3 stars on Yelp. Mentally, I started to prepare to have her crash at my house.

I heard from her when she landed and she seemed to be in good spirits. They were in a bit of a rush to get to the hotel and prepare for the theater. I just prayed once she got to the hotel that she would stay and enjoy her trip.  Hey, she did like something about him.

She held her complaints and just got ready, she was anxious to see the musical.  When they arrived at the theater, it was a zoo. Car services clogging the block. Lines galore. It’s a Friday night in the theater district.  They made their way to the box office and lucked up with a very short line. However, they too were only at the counter about 3 seconds before the box woman pressed her face against the plexiglass and shouted “SOLD OUT!”

My friend died. He hadn’t even bought the tickets. A Friday night on Broadway in NYC and you think you can walk up to the ticket counter like you’re going to see a movie that’s been out for 3 weeks.  They stood there fully dressed and prepared for a great night with dinner plans 3 hours away.

Naturally, if you can’t tell by now, he’s obviously not too familiar with NYC so at this point she has to totally take the reigns. She called me for a quick suggestion for early dinner and I could hear the pain in her voice. She was over it. I wasn’t sure how much longer she would last.

She snuck away and called me at dinner. She was miserable. She was doing her best not to be a “bitch”, so she chalked up the hotel loss. He could have done his research about the theater, but he was totally green to NYC.  When I tried to get details out of her, she couldn’t really get it into coherent sentences.  At that moment, it was just his existence as a whole that irked her.  He was clumsy, he ate like a beast, he hadn’t planned or researched anything he said he would, he was kind of useless.  She just wanted the day to be over.

When they got back to the hotel and got dressed for bed she pulled one of the most incredible tricks in the books.  She jumped in the shower then pulled out nail polish. She began to paint her nails and toe nails with clear polish. Why?  To avoid getting in the bed or being touched. “Oh no sorry babe, I don’t want my nails to smudge.”

Ladies, save that one.

The next morning we had a quick pep talk. They were going to do some shopping, her favorite, and visit an exhibit at The Met. After, they would head back to the hotel get ready for Dave Chappelle. Easy, right?

The day went well, however when it was time to leave for the show, she was starting to heat up again.  Again, there was no real reason other than he breathed wrong. He bent over wrong. Hell he even put on cologne wrong.

Once they arrived at Radio City Music Hall, event security locked up everyone’s phones.  Here they were, just the two of them, forced to enjoy the night together.

She was hopeful that this would be good for them.  She wanted to like him, she just didnt.  They headed to the bar.  He doesn’t really drink so he got a glass of champagne with a side of OJ. Basically a mimosa.  She got a double tequila on the rocks, extra lime.  That wasn’t a good start.

On the way to the seats, he fumbled the tickets, his wallet, the champagne, damn near everything in his hands. He was super clumsy with this weird nervous, anxious energy.  The opening comedian hadn’t even exited the stage before she realized she would have to tune out his cackling. He repeated every joke back to her as if the girl was hard of hearing. She could not believe this great candidate was turning into the travel date from hell.

When they got back to the hotel she immediately jumped in the shower. She was looking forward to getting on her flight out of NYC at 11AM. He mentioned he was going to run out and grab some food so she was totally relieved. She would not have to smudge her nails and redo them tonight.  She hopped into bed and he left.

She was only in bed about 15 minutes before she got a text from an old friend who happened to be in NYC. Someone she actually liked, not someone she thought would be good for her. She threw on some clothes and ran to meet him. She texted her date, “Ran to meet a friend, I’ll be back soon.”

Cut to…. 4AM and one “Are you okay?” text from him at 2:45AM she is walking back into the hotel room.

With the stealth of a cheetah, she slid into bed without a sound. She woke up with just enough time to pack, add herself to the upgrade list, and head to the airport.  Her goal: spend the least amount of time with him as possible.  The girl even took two work calls at the gate to avoid conversation while they waited that morning.

To her complete satisfaction, right before boarding began, the gate agent called her name. She picked up her new first class seat and rode home with a glass of champagne and a deep sigh. Safe to say, She’s just not that into him.