Dear Singles, Cuffing Season Is Upon Us

-by Ashley Weatherspoon

CUFFING SEASON: Period of time during the autumn and winter months in which avid singletons find themselves seeking to be “cuffed” or “tied down” by a serious relationship.

Olivia Petter, The Independent

I have to admit, I kind of love that millennials have decided to coin these random dating terms for relationships in the twenty-teens, and the rest of us just kind of picked up on them. The whole thing is just so telling of this generation. Who needs relationship therapists to break down relationships anymore? We can psychoanalyze ourselves and broadcast to the world what’s happening with us.

Therapists, catch up and catch on, and then you can explain what’s happening with us. 😉

So far, on this blog, I’ve introduced you to breadcrumbing and situationships. Today, we dive into “Cuffing Season.”  I’ve always laughed at that term when I’ve heard it casually tossed around to describe the “winter month situationships.”

According to Women’s Health Mag, the term “Cuffing Season” popped up on Urban Dictionary in 2011. According to Urban Dictionary defines, “Cuffing Season” asis the time during the fall and winter months when people who would normally prefer to be single or promiscuous find themselves desiring to be tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely, desperate to be cuffed.

Listen, I know I’m not talking to everyone with this blog entry, only to those who experience the winter solstice, but for those whose cuddy buddy doesn’t change with the weather because you only have one season, just read along.

Lowkey: does anybody remember when our generation tried to make “cuddy buddy” a thing? Yeah, that didn’t work. Lol

While I’m normally in agreement that these dating terms are millennials’ way to legitimise our behavior, there is a bit of factual information and a lot of real-life experience behind the development of “Cuffing Season.” The dating app, Hinge, found that men are 15% more likely to be actively looking for a relationship in winter than any other time of year, and women are five percent more likely to do the same.

Take a look at the Official Unofficial Cuffing Season Calendar:

Cuffing Season Schedule:

August 1-31: Scouting

September 1-31: Drafting

October 1-31: Tryouts

November 1-31: Preseason

December 1-January 15: Cuffing Season

January 16-February 13: Playoffs

February 14: Championship Game

This year, Cuffing Season got real when this schedule crossed my Instagram feed. The comparison to an actual season brought validity to what was previously a fictional joke. I was forced to look at my own situations and draw some conclusions on my fate this year.

*Hi, I’m Ashley, 5’5”, brown eyes, thick thighs. I shoot 40.3% from the field but I choke in the playoffs. #ExBoyfriendTings

I recently instagramed a funny caption that read, “Cuffing Season, Coming Soon. I’m usually an early draft pick  but I always drop the ball in the playoffs. I can’t get a ring to save my life.” They always say that behind every joke is a little bit of truth, right?

The end of the summer is a good time for me. It’s true. At the end of August and beginning of September, my phone typically begins to light up. My exes suddenly remember me, old flings start to wonder what I’ve been up to, and the “hey, stranger” texts emerge. Among my close friends, we call it “I miss you”’ season. Those damn “I miss you” texts always get old flings back into the door.

By October, I notice that I start to go out on more scheduled dinner dates. In the summer months, dinner dates are planned on the fly. You know, plans made at noon for dinner that night type of vibe. For some reason, in October, men like to make plans. When I revisit the cuffing season calendar, I understand why. If October is for tryouts, those dates must be planned. The guys I’m into aren’t out here hosting open runs; it’s invite only around here.

In my own right, I’m auditioning cuffing season partners in October as well. You know that meme “I’m single, but if you see me with somebody, shut your mouth. I’m doing interviews.”  Yep, that’s me. What may be “tryouts” for him is “interview season” for me.

When November finally hits, I am fully ready for a relationship. Football season, sweatshirts, haunted houses, and scary movies – the holidays are good for me. I have a flexible work schedule so I’m able to travel and enjoy my downtime. I’m a holiday-type-of girl, so I transform homes into lively, festive themes, and I can create an out-of-this-world holiday sorree. I mean, I’m pretty much the perfect partner for corn mazes, carving pumpkins, seeing Christmas light shows, and everything in between;  however, once the New Year hits, things start to go downhill for me. I’m that “New Year, new me” bitch.

My self-confidence is at an all-time high, and the New Year is just another reminder than I’m better than I was the year before – more fit, more accomplished, and more focused. I become extremely focused on my needs and what works best for me, and ultimately start feeling like I deserve more. January 15th comes around and playoffs begin, with my birthday falling right in the middle. My head gets big, I feel entitled, and then BOOM. I somehow forget this was all a game.

I drop the ball and BOOM, February 14th comes and I’m alone, again.

So, in realizing I lost in the playoffs during my last two cuffing seasons, I would like to advise women not to participate! Don’t do it this year, sis. I understand that the weather is cooler and the nights are getting longer. But I’m going to say it again – Don’t do it! Just go buy a jacket and stay safe out here.

No, I’m kidding. Please participate, Young Queens. Cuffing Season has its superficial benefits of companionship and seemingly consistent emotional benefits. Tons of scientific studies have proven that cuddling releases the happiness hormone, oxytocin. Once this hormone is released, we continue to do the thing that caused it to be released because, well, it feels good and makes us happy, but you have to remember that cuffing season is usually temporary. Once springtime rolls around, it’s likely that your cuff buddy will be in the wind.

“While I don’t find cuffing season to be the most romantic of concepts,” Marina Khorosh, author of the relationships blog Dbag Dating told Vogue, “I do admit that it’s a good temporary solution for those residing in northern climates, where the Polar Vortex cuts off social interactions for extended time periods.”

Ladies, be honest with yourself and know that the season is truly seasonal. If you like a good, strong set of arms around you when it’s cold outside, I’m not mad at you. I get it. But if you take one thing from this blog, please properly prepare yourself for the season; it won’t always end with a ring.

Here’s to wishing I wasn’t about to embark on another cuffing season, but here’s to also knowing “see ball, eat ball.” See you in the championships this year. 😉


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This Post Has 34 Comments

  1. one of my favorites!! Definitely cuffing this season…❣❣

    1. I’m going to put up some cuffing season merch this year….!! You’ll need it for you and your boo for the season. LOL

  2. All sounds good. But where are all these people meeting? Work, through friends, online, just plain old going out? I feel like technology makes it more difficult for the latter option. Hmm??

    1. I agree, luckily for me I’m in NYC so going out is certainly always a viable option. The city that never sleeps! Where are you located?

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