-By Erin Wright
I take pride in my girlfriend circle. I go to them for relationship advice, venting sessions, kid questions, and sex tips, but not oral sex tips. But why? Is it just me or is anyone else awkwardly afraid and ashamed to mention blowjobs?
We’re grown. I’m 33, but the minute someone brings up sucking dick, you may as well put me back in 7th-grade homeroom because of the way I giggle.
It’s okay to feel awkward, but don’t let that stop you from being in the conversation. I’ve learned to push past my awkwardness and just listen. Then, when I feel comfortable enough, I share a little something (if I want).
I’m tired of hearing folks saying nasty women suck dick. False, false, false! Was it just me or did anyone else’s mom threaten them about bumps forming around their mouth if they suck dick, too? When a woman makes a decision for herself, there’s nothing nasty about it. And oh yeah, Black girls give head too. Can we squash this nonsense? I mean, really, I’m tired of hearing it and also tired of falling into this stereotype.
So for those of you who are like me, grown, curious and exploring your sexuality, I’ll start with this- stop looking down on women who openly discuss oral sex, relax, and think about these pointers:
Find some dick-sucking friends: You know who to borrow a recipe from and who to ask for a restaurant recommendation. To me, my friends that openly talk about oral sex are some of my favorite friends – they just have a certain spice to them. I love it. Ask them! They won’t hold back.
Don’t go crazy on Google. I went down the blowjob rabbit hole while researching tips and tricks to giving better head, but remember that Google isn’t the mecca for information about blowjobs. Some of the information is downright disturbing, but I promise I don’t judge!
Change your perspective. For me, I thought being on my knees was humiliating but think of it differently. You are holding his most prized possession in your hand and your mouth. They are at your mercy. You’re in charge! Let him know that!
Whether you start a blowjob group chat with your friends or listen to a blowjob tutorial podcast, just know I’m proud of you. It’s high time we normalize this and move on. If I haven’t made you feel a little more at ease by now, I’ve left two articles I liked and found helpful.