I was on Facetime with a guy-friend last night, and we were chit-chatting about random b.s. He went silent for a second while looking at his phone, and then he…
However, as a day or two passes, your high starts to fade. Perhaps you begin to miss your lover, even though you didn’t leave each others side for 72 hours. Perhaps the few hours he took to call you back feels like three days. Perhaps you’re a bit on edge or snappy. Perhaps you start to re-evaluate whether you should be spending so much time thinking about him. Either way, the high starts to wear off and your obsession of that happy place begins to take new form.
Sound familiar? You see, ladies and gentlemen, this is what I like to call a Love Hangover.
“Don’t you make me count 'em on my fingers
Gon’ be hot when I say I ran out of hands
I’m sure if tables turned and it was dollar signs per body
You would be one very rich and wealthy man”
So far, on this blog, I’ve introduced you to breadcrumbing and situationships. Today, we dive into “Cuffing Season.”
Earlier this week, Jada Pinkett Smith released a video-gone-viral where she shared that “being in love” meant learning how to deal with devastation. She dropped some gems, y’all, and while I hated to hear her advice, I absolutely agreed with the message she shared. You must find someone you love more than the devastation they cause you. Do you hear that, sis? All that glitters is not gold.
Ladies, ask any single guy friend who will let you, to go through his address book. If your single guy friends are as painfully machismo and immature as mine, then you will be highly entertained by the names some men have women saved under.
“If you don’t like him, why are you hanging out with him Ashley?”
“Because he’s a bit of everything I want in a man, but he just doesn’t give me the butterflies. Maybe one day I could really grow to like him, but right now, he’s not for me. He’s kind of like an insurance policy and I’m just paying my premium.”
I tossed his phone into his lap and let out “Damn. Nicole, the one from NY, is really looking for you” while the phone was in midair. I fired off 1 or 2 more passive aggressive comments before I left the room. The idea that another woman could be looking for him, during our time was almost repulsive.
I’ll admit it, this nicknaming is also a bit of defense mechanism. As author Sara Ashley O’Brien describes here, “she thinks women do it to keep men at an emotional arm’s length—so it’s not as painful if the relationship fizzles out (especially when you have to tell your girlfriends that, no, you haven’t heard from Bowling Guy in more than two weeks).”
How do you write a book? Where do you start? How do I get published? Is my writing even good enough to get published? What are successful authors writing about? What category do I want to write in? Do I need a ghost writer? A co-author?